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To Be Or Not To Be Schizophrenic
(January 29, 2014)
It has been over sixteen years since I started taking medication for schizophrenia. Early on a few adjustments were made to my dosage and method of taking it. A few months ago I noticed that I was feeling a strange disturbance of a sort in part of my brain. I decided to reduce my dosage slightly, temporarily and see how I felt.
It has now been close to three months and I noticed a number of changes. Most importantly, I am able to cope and function quite well with the reduced dosage. The strange feeling has gone, thoughts flow more freely, I don^t jerk as often and with less intensity, I have more frequent images in my mind and I still have moments of chaotic brain activity all of which are quite manageable. Another bonus is that my memory has improved. The cost of my medicine has also dropped, that is the part that I think the medical and pharmaceutical industries hate the most. Overall, at this point in time, I think it is a good move.
On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is the most severe I would rate my schizophrenia at perhaps 2 or maybe 3. I can function without medication but people don^t like my character. It is very strange to me that the greatest problem I have seems to be with my character. Character is what God wants us to develop from within ourselves with His help. Character is improved through good habits like observing all the commandments of God, studying the Bible, meditating, praying always and fasting occasionally, not by popping pills.
I have been pondering this situation ever since I started taking medication and have prayed and talked to God about it. In part this is why I had some confidence in reducing my dosage, I am in a better relationship with God now than I was then. I know that He does not need medication to heal someone. I am not yet completely healed but I do expect to be some day.
Medication to me has meant being able to hold a job, to socialize, to use various establishments and to do certain things. The same could be said for my glasses, I suppose. Why God puts us through these experiences with imperfections I do not really know but I think it is to develop character and to develop a relationship with Him. I know that He wants us to overcome all challenges and adversity and to set as our goal His character. I do my best, so should you. Care and caution are in order.
2014 Jacques Gauvin
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