Problematic Past Bibles
The so~called Wicked Bible of 1631 reported the seventh commandment as Thou shalt commit adultery, a mistake which so infuriated King Charles that he ordered all copies destroyed and fined every printer whose hands had touched the scandalous edition.
Place~Maker Bible: A 16th Century printer had Jesus blessing the place~makers instead of the peacemakers.
Unrighteous Bible: A 1653 printing declared: Know ye not that the unrighteous shall inherit the Kingdom of God?
Printers Bible: In the 1702 edition of the King David Bible, he is quoted as saying Printers (instead of princes) have persecuted me without cause.
Sin On Bible: The first English language Bible to be printed in Ireland, in 1716, encouraged readers to sin on more, instead of sin no more.
Wife~hater Bible: An 1810 version read, If any man come to me, and hate not his own wife (instead of life), he cannot be my disciple.
Camels Bible: In 1832 an edition had Rebekah leaving her tent to meet Isaac with a group of camels (instead of damsels).
Murderer^s Bible: Another 19th century issue had Mark 7:27 reading: Let the children first be killed (instead of filled).
More stuff:
In the 1400^s a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick any thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ^the rule of thumb^
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled ^Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden^...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades ~ King David
Hearts ~ Charlemagne
Clubs ~Alexander, the Great
Diamonds ~ Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. They were all invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn^t spoil?
A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father^s Day
In Shakespeare^s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase.... ^goodnight, sleep tight.^
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride^s father would supply his son~in~law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month . which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ^Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.^
It^s where we get the phrase ^mind your Ps and Qs^
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
^Wet your whistle^ is the phrase inspired by this practice.
The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.
Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Where facts are few, experts are many.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius is limited.
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious.
Egotism, usually just a case of mistaken nonentity.
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.
Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.
We teach them proper principles and let them govern themselves.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
2007 Jacques Gauvin