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Sometimes I Feel Like Cain, Sometimes Like Abel
Human life goes on after baptism. No one is wholly spiritual. Thoughts continue to flow. Events continue to happen. One gains experience, knowledge and wisdom. This experience is greatly physical. The spiritual aspect of life is often masked or veiled or seen dimly. Hope and faith seem to prevail over truth and facts, thinking spiritually. And Love is often misunderstood or not appreciated or self~centered or elusive.
Those who have good works will be rewarded. Those who obey Jesus are those who love Him. Be doers of the law and do not be hearers only. Test God on His promise concerning tithing, see if He will not bless you with more than you have room to hold. I do all these things, or at least I try. I could always try harder but like in business a company reaches critical mass, like an engine you don^t want to blow a gasket, like an athlete you have to avoid injuries if you want to have a career, like a writer you cannot please everyone. Even Jesus, in spite of His countless good works, was hated, He reminds us that He was hated first.
The Christian walk is seen in a different light today in Canada compared to the time of Jesus in Israel. It seems that Jesus and His apostles roamed the country side pretty much year round. The Bible does not reveal where they slept, what they ate, where they ate, when and where they washed their clothes and how they paid for all these things in much detail. One day at work we were confronted with twenty or more vertical feet of snow. We are not allowed to walk along highways. Our winters are long and cold. Shelter costs me $755 dollars a month, food and sundries about $400. Yet we are told to follow Christ^s example. It seems that He performed miracles for a living. I confess, I have not followed His example in this area much and I personally know no one who has.
But I do observe the Sabbath weekly and I do try to keep it holy. I do good works. This is a personal analysis, I have no other brain to assess things with. I have to act within my limitations. Sometimes it feels like I have all the trouble and criticism I can handle in just being married. It^s hard to interact with people when you get nailed to a cross or chained to a status quo or get pressured by irrational expectations. There is so much evil in the world that one can easily get entangled in hating hatred and loosing balance on the narrow path of righteousness.
Bring all your cares to God, I^ve heard. I do that, constantly. I don^t hear His voice but the message seems to consistently be, Those who hold out to the end will be saved. If you have a hammer, saw, wood and nails don^t expect to be able to build a house of steel and concrete. Use the gifts that God gave you don^t wait for other gifts before acting out your faith. That is what I live by. That is the insight God has given me. And perhaps that is why I feel like Cain at times. My skills and talents are of no apparent use to anyone including the church and even to God, so it seems, at times.
The tasks, functions and duties, including tithe payments, I perform at church are small burdens and are generally well received. The work I do at home, my real contribution, the contribution of my mind and spiritual efforts, my research, understanding, knowledge and wisdom expounded on in writing, goes by greatly unnoticed and therefore unappreciated. The scriptures say a labourer deserves his wages. After publishing three books in the past year or so I have derived zero income with close to zero sales. I don^t blame the church for this because they already have a lot of information available to them, more than most of them have time to absorb. I see it more as rejection from the masses, the world and from God. He apparently has no use for it in His plan for man or the church, as it seems to date.
So like Cain I feel some rejection. Cain had his offerings to God rejected. Of course he didn^t feel too good about this but he acted out in anger rather than to try to reason with God. There could have been many more offerings to come and God may have come to accept Cain^s offerings. But Cain settled his mind on being furious and let evil rule over him.
Unlike Cain I have not become furious. I guard against evil. My life is not over. I cannot prognosticate. The future may hold pleasant surprises. Meanwhile though, I feel more like a rusty old nail than a powerful locomotive, more like a raft than a ship, more like a sheep than a shepherd. Jesus told us to be imitators of Him not of sheep. He is the Captain of our salvation not a spike driver. He is the inspiration of the Bible not a scribe, not a bad actor. And He said that some would even perform greater things than He. According to God Cain was a mere mindset away from smiling. After all he had not committed an unpardonable sin.
On the other hand, when I count my blessings I sometimes feel like Abel, rejoicing in God^s approval. Some wonder how that is possible when I did not marry until I was 55 years old, I have no house, no children and not one of my relatives is in the church except my wife and no income from sales of my books. My blessings comprise of food, clothing and shelter and the breath of life, and a few modern gadgets. But they also include love, joy, peace, long suffering, goodness kindness, faith, gentleness and self~control, but then I sense that I boast. Some do not wonder how I can rejoice. The beauty of writing is that you can express yourself without annoying interruptions.
When a tree falls in the wilderness, does it make a noise? When a book is written in the wilderness, will it make an impact?
As Christians we are not to be passive, we are to break down philosophical, theological, ideological strongholds, shred lies and deceptions, spread the gospel of the kingdom of God and the Word of God and reveal the Greatness of God and the hope for mankind through righteousness and through Jesus. There is a time to act as sheep and a time to man the sails or for all hands on deck. There are many tasks and functions that a church can perform, perhaps as many as there are members. Some tasks are accomplished by groups and others by individuals. As examples some produce cards, some sermons, some booklets and some books. They all serve a purpose.
We all have a bit of Cain and of Abel in us. We all have some good and some evil. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. We all have our abilities and disabilities. We all have our true beliefs and our misconceptions. We all have our intelligence and our gullibility. We all have resilience and stubbornness. Let us all work toward making ourselves better in every respect. Let us all be edifying and tolerant, helpful and understanding, exemplary and forgiving, diligent and patient.
Let us ponder the significance of Cain and Abel and continue on our pursuit of righteousness and peace with God and of acceptance by God.
2016 Jacques Gauvin
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