In retrospect, I don't know why these thoughts did not occur to me while things were happening. My brain works in mysterious ways. It is as if someone else were in control. There is a processing of all that goes on and went on and what may go on that eventually surfaces in words and concepts. No one can explain it but God and He's not telling anyone, so it seems.
I'm talking about my concept, my understanding, my knowledge of the Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread, the self-examination and other things done in preparation for their worthy observance. It is impressed on me that above all else I must retain or attain honesty and avoid suppressing it.
It's that time of year again for retrospect, self-assessment and self-examination. A time for cleaning up the cobwebs of my apartment and the cobwebs of my mind. Not just the cobwebs but also the dust and most importantly the leaven of malice. I have to get rid of the animosity in my mind, the bitterness and the want of vengeance for slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, easier said than done but doable.
Years ago, while being a baptised member of God's true church, I was sharing my apartment with a fellow who was not paying any rent. Furthermore he was infesting the place. Not only that but I highly suspected that he would also entertain a friend or two there on occasion.
I'm talking about a mouse. This mouse was no ordinary everyday mouse it was a mouse sent by the Devil to shake my fundamental and foundational beliefs in the teachings of the church, to rattle my trust in God's ministers. How? I had a problem that was significantly greater, one might conjecture, than de-leavening my home. I wanted to get rid of this infesting creature who had no governing rules or regulations except to have the run of the mill and to eat and defecate at will. What a heinous varmint.
My priorities were being seriously challenged. I had to get back on track. I had to get rid of this disruptive mouse first. It was interfering with my religious convictions. I was not looking for leaven I was looking for a hole in the plan of God. I looked at every inch of my apartment in every cubby hole, closet and cabinet from top to bottom, every inch of baseboard, behind the fridge and stove and at every water heater pipe that entered or exited every radiator through the floor.
I only found one spot that I thought a mouse could pass through. It was where the kitchen drain left the cupboard and went into the wall. The only thing I had that I thought might work was an old t-shirt rag that I stuffed all the way around the pipe and wedged firmly into the space at the wall. It worked.
The mouse never did come back, I think it choked on the fibrous rag every time it tried, and so I regained the importance of following God's instructions. De-leavening regained its priority as a God directed observance and tradition. Many years have gone by as well as much self-examination.
I've heard ministers, one in particular, wonder at this time of year why God did not use dust as comparison for sin. Never in my 35 years in the church have I ever heard anyone wonder why God did not use mice as a comparison for sin. I suspect that it's because ministers do not have problems with mice. It is a poor man's problem, a low end apartment dweller's problem not a high end home owner's problem. Or perhaps it's just not worth mentioning. My father had a mouse or two in his house at one time.
Nevertheless it brought forth another concept that I'm struggling to overcome. That is, is the church taking from the poor to give to the rich? I have seen and heard of instances where the lowly in the church were serving the better off and in some cases much better off and at times at the lowly's expense, an outrage, a scandal, an insult, an injustice or just a blind oversight, which brings up the topic of forgiveness.
Here is another point that surfaced in my mind this year as we approach the Passover and as we deal with the recesses of the mind, the shadows where leaven hides, leaven that if gone uncleaned would raise malice and vengeance. Everyone talks about forgiveness, how we must forgive, but no one talks about personal injury and personal healing and the time it takes to heal. Yes we do hear of the injuries to Christ how He suffered and of the forgiveness of Christ but in 35 years I have never heard anyone mention how long it took for Him to heal.
Let me explain. Every year I heard or read the verses where Christ was nailed to the cross and how his side was pierced and how He asked His Father to forgive His assailants. We are told and reminded every year that we should follow Christ's example and pick up our own cross and follow Him in forgiving onto death. This is all well and good but this year I would like to add something, another truth, another Biblical observation, another of Christ's examples, another reminder that insults, false accusations, injustice, belittling, and injuries take time to heal and that scars do not quickly disappear.
Healing takes time. It leaves scars. The bigger the attack the bigger the scars. You remember that after Jesus was resurrected he appeared to His apostles and showed them the holes in His hands and in his side. He had forgiven but He had not completely healed. His scars were still open. This was after His resurrection, after His transformation. Forgiveness is often invisible but healing not so much.
Forgiveness is to be done before the going down of the sun on the same day as the offense. Ephesians 4:26 (NASB) BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, At that point vengeance and malice have dissipated already. Healing will apparently linger on into the afterlife, into the resurrection and transformation. There is also a side of forgiveness that lingers on. It seems to be a nurturing force, a pathway for strength and comfort and a channel of healing.
We have the ten commandments, the armour of God and the fruit of the spirit but what of forgiveness and healing is there a grouping and name for these? There is always something that we haven't thought through yet. The depth of God cannot be fathomed. Job 5:9 (NIV84) He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.
Bottom line today, don't let a mouse with no fear of God take over your faith and traditions and hold fast to the command of God to forgive, to remove that leaven of malice far from you, and the belief that He will heal you in His own time.
In closing here are a few passages to live by.
Psalm 103:6–10 (Amplified by JG)
6The Lord executes righteousness and justice [not for me only, but] for all who are oppressed and treated unfairly.
7He made known and revealed His ways and will and nature[of righteousness and justice] to Moses, His acts and deeds to the children of Israel.
8The Lord is merciful, tender, compassionate and gracious toward those who don't deserve it, slow to anger and plenteous and abounding in mercy and loving-kindness.
9He will not always accuse or strive or chide or be contending, neither will He keep or harbour His anger forever or hold a grudge.
10He has not dealt with us after or according to our sins as we deserve nor rewarded or punished or repay us according to our iniquities.
Trust in God let Him lead. Follow His plan of salvation, first the Passover and Feast of Unleavened Bread.
1 Corinthians 5:8 (NKJV)
Therefore let us keep the feast (of unleavened bread), not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
Luke 23:34 (NKJV)
Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” And they divided His garments and cast lots.
Matthew 6:15 (NKJV)
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
2019 Jacques Gauvin