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MY LOST LOVE
I searched my heart down deep inside
but found no trace of you there
I wonder why you chose to hide
your emptiness leaves you bear
I^d hate to see you in despair
or living life a lie
you know you love me you can^t hide
but your love of lust is greater
you don^t know me as you should
you'd know of my Creator
to your shame
cause you love the game
of exercising vanity
you saw my books
I still could not force
my way through your present insanity
I won^t analyze every gesture you prize
I won^t be your rubberized toy
you use ruse not wisdom an obvious ploy
I^ll hold fast to my studious past
leave behind the maze that I^m free of at last
and although your a mind distorter
I^m not your psychoanalytic converter
Your like all the others
you hate the prudent
those who hate gift wrapped parcels
you love your surprises your occasions and friends
and it matters not if they^re against God or for him
you justify the means your ways you defend
no concern truth trust nor the end
as I told you before
my hearts not a toy.
1994